Hey, after all, I am a coach – I am all about helping people change. It’s what I do and I’m good at it. I’ve found it’s different when it’s about me. Here’s the story. I work a lot with emotional intelligence. I know all about triggers and how to spot them. I know about self management and how to point people to good practices – deep breathing when you notice tension building or the surge of emotions. Why is it so hard to do in my sandbox! I guess it’s the blessing/curse of being human. It is why I work with a coach – diligently. When it’s personal, it gets harder.
My business is changing. I’ve probably mentioned that before. Here’s the deal. I’ve wanted it to change. I’ve hungered to do more of what I want and less of other’s people’s work (being a subcontractor). I want to work with companies with humane leaders – I’ve worked for some jerks and don’t want to need income so badly that I fall back into having to do that.
I want two things. FIrst is to source abundance and the second it to manage the voices of desperation in my head. Those are the late-at-night, shadow-in-the-corner voices of doom. Those two wants are tied tightly together. If I source abundance…that means finding the positive view, no matter what, then my attention is aimed at what’s possible and the voice of doom doesn’t get air time. When I expect the very best to show up, then it does. Here’s the deal. When I source what is possible, I have to let go of know what or planning what mights show up. I have to live with ambiguity…no knowing. And if I let the default voice of doom have a say, it kills abundance.
WOW that’s a little harsh. The voices of doom KILL the energy of abundance. But isn’t it true? It is for me – because the energy of “what if it doesn’t work” would have me hedge my bets. You know the hedge –a little abundance but tempered with “practical, down to earth” contingency planning. It sounds reasonable but I am here to take a stand that “practical, down to earth” will keep me from experiencing all that is possible. Jim Collins in the beginning of Good to Great says it well. “Good is the enemy of great.” Scarcity is the enemy of abundance. I am ready to take a stand for not knowing and having faith. What a life that will be!